


Cowboy Chris's Return to the Shattered Earth: An Essay on the Nature of Human Desires and The Conflict...The Horror...

by cowboychris



Series: A Series of Essays on the Relativity of Morality [20]
Category: Cowboy Chris - Fandom, Joker (2019)
Genre: Anal Sex, COVID19, Coronavirus, Grease - Freeform, M/M, Mpreg, Nonsense, Pandemic - Freeform, Vaccines, butt plug, cum, curing the coronavirus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboychris/pseuds/cowboychris
Summary: After 10,000 years, Cowboy Chris returns to find earth Ruined after the devastating Vape Wars...And now Coronavirus is spreading! Can these sexy cowboy babes get together and save the world?
Series: A Series of Essays on the Relativity of Morality [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/371108
Kudos: 2





	Cowboy Chris's Return to the Shattered Earth: An Essay on the Nature of Human Desires and The Conflict...The Horror...

September 11th, 2032…..

31 years after cowboy chris emerged from the ruins of the north tower, totally unscathed….

this….is how the world ends…..

Coronavirus has ravaged the world for 10,000 years, and about 4 people have died. The global economies have collapsed, and the world is in a state of ruins. The vape production of the world has stopped, and no dank weed is being toked... Cowboy Chris’s authors return after 10,000 years for one more rodeo……...

The world is in ruins. The vape wars threw the world into chaos, into which Daddy Binks established a totalitarian regime after returning from the dead. It was bullshit. Anyway, cowboys have been illegalized, and Cowboy Chris becomes a god on the run.

Cowboy Chris’s Rootin Tootin Rodeo Squad has all perished, and without them he sees no reason to go on….all hope seems lost….things seem bleak and the streets of Cyber Texas are ruined and ravaged…Everyone is waiting inside and playing videogames but Chris just keeps going outside and spreading this disease. What a dick! Everyone hates him. Except, possibly, a certain few individuals...Chris thinks back to the glory days...before the vape wars...before Daddy Binks’s reign of terror...Could it happen again?

Chris wipes a drop of sweat from his forehead…life seems futile....what could possibly be worth living for? With social distancing in place, no one is having sex, and no one is having Hot Cowboy Orgies...Chris’s power is waning...weakened….the gang has left him…

Chris walks these empty streets alone for what feels like decades….millennia….He remembers the one that could have saved them, back in Vietnam….The clean one...Mr clean…

Cowboy chris walks through an alley covered in dust and ruins, and he sees a faded neon sign in the rubble of the city block...Joe’s Pizza...Could it be?

A greasy figure emerges from the shadows, tossing his hair aside in a casual, yet practiced manner. “Hey Chris, been a while….31 years in fact…You look worse for wear…” The figure, wearing a tight leather jacket and extremely tight skinny jeans, tosses a cigarette aside. “I never got you back for what you did for me back in Vietnam…” The figure...Chris’s former lover...former rival… former pizza man…. Dark Tobey Maguire XXX!

Tobey crack’s his knuckles, and a devilish grin spreads across his face. “I’m gonna put some dirt in your eye, big boy…”

Chris lets out a feral cowboy growl and lunges towards the greasy man, who is covered in grease. He is dripping in grease. He is a non-stick pan of a man. Chris can barely grab the slippery son of a bitch because he is so fucking greasy….. But nevertheless he manages to get a hold on the man with the emo bangs and rips off his tight pants. Under his tight emo pants are pretty white panties with little bows on them. It’s very sweet and very greasy. Chris reaches in and grabs his lubed up pee pee.

Dark Tobey lets out one of those hentai anime moans which catches Chris off guard but he quickly regains his composure. But, in those critical moments in their fuck-battle, Tobey has managed to Literally put some dirt in his eyes! He got some sand from his pocket and threw it in Chris’ eyes! Chris lets out a loud cowboy scream and drops to the ground, holding his dick in agony.

Dark Tobey stands in front of Chris’ doubled over form. “Hem Hem Hem… Chris… I’ve got you right where I want you….”

It seems like… all hope is lost… Chris’ powers were already weakened but now…. With the sand in his cowboy eyes… it seems like he’ll never get the gang back together…. Captain Crunch… Aaron Carter… Osmosis Jones…. His lovers, friends….. Enemies…. He may never see them again…

Thinking about his friends and their hot dicks and poppin pussies gave Chris the sudden passion he needed to beat Dark Tobey once and for all. Chris wipes the sand out of his eyes and stands up, revealing his assless chaps and spurs. Dark Tobey inhales sharply, never having seen a more beautiful sight than those sculpted glutes….

Chris does a full 360 and slaps Tobey in the face with his big thicc cowboy asscheeks, causing Dark Tobey to fall to the ground in an erotic frenzy.

“OwO!” Dark Tobey yells as he cums to the ground.

Standing over him, Cowboy Chris puts his cowboy boot on Tobey’s chest and smirks his smart cowboy smile.

“This town ain’t big enough fer the two of us…..” He drawls…

“Chris… no…. Please…. I’ll do anything…. I’ll do a threesome with you and Aaron…. I swear…”

Chris considers this and finds this to be a Suitable compromise. He gives him his strong cowboy hand into Tobey’s greasy emo one and pulls him up.

“C’mon pardner…. We got a long journey ahead of us….”

CHapter two: a new friend...or foe?

Tobey and Chris fucked a bunch more but you know the drill, it was spicy and gay and shit. You can fill it in with your hot imagination. I’m proud of you.

Anyway, they migrate from Cyber Texas to Neo-New York. The road trip is long, dramatic, and lifechanging. It’ll be a fic later. I swear. Subscribe to audible with the code CHRISXXXX and you can get access to a Cowboy Chris Gold Account and read this new content! They finally arrive to New York after 10,000 years. It’s even more of a shithole than Cyber Texas. The entire city is deserted, and the streets are empty...It’s a perfect place for murder....

Tobey and Chris scour the ruins of the city, but find nothing but trash, and leftover pizza grease. They stop at Joe’s Pizza for lunch, but Mr Aziz kicks them out. Remember to be socially responsible!

Chris and Tobey are bummed out, and chill at the top of a long set of stairs. It’s as good a spot as any, so they decide to get down and dirty. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a sudden laughter echoes through the empty alleys of the city. Tobey whips around, grease splattering everywhere. “W-what was that, Chris-chan?” Tobey whimpers. “I dunno buckaroo...keep yer cheeks clenched…”

Suddenly, a gunshot rings out, and Tobey’s head explodes in a burst of gore, grease, and cum. His corpse falls over, and topples down the endless flight of stairs. Chris is shocked, silent...and he looks to the top of the stairs and sees a figure, new, but also familiar, in a red coat and clown paint…

It’s him.

Joker’s Trick….

“Teme!!!!” Chris yells, his muscles flexing and power charging up. “I’ll destroy you!!!” Chris activates his stand, and leaps to battle.

The Joker does his little joker dance down the stairs and Chris is mesmerized by this mating display. He feels his arcane ancient cowboy clown dick start to get hard….

“You get what you fuckin’ deserve!!!” Joker yells then pulls a gun out and tries to shoot Chris. But Chris is too fast and too sexy and he grabs the bullet straight out of the fucking air and shoves it up his butt like a buttplug.

The Joker is impressed but is not ready to give in yet to the sweet callings of Chris’ giant cowboy cock.

HOWEVER…. In that moment! A new foe appears! Here he is….

Aaron… Carter.

He flips his blonde curtain bangs and gives goo goo eyes to Chris.

“Chris… baby… I’m here… to fuck. It’s been too long…”

Chris is about to say sweet nothings to his sweet Aaron when suddenly….

The Joker appears behind Aaron and pushes him down the Joker stairs.

Aaron screams like a little baby all the way down and breaks his neck and dies slowly. Chris can’t help but admit that it was a little…. Erotic…

He looks back up at the Joker, who is looking deep into his eyes. In that moment, they knew. They had to Mate and create the new Clown Spawn because Chris is ¼ clown.

The Joker rips off his red suit to reveal that his entire body is covered in clown paint and his dick is curled into a balloon animal dog. It makes Chris’ mouth water.

They come together in a blaze of honking…. Paint is smeared…. Lube from Tobey’s corpse is put on…. Nutt…. Aaron carter is bleeding out…

Long story short, the Joker is pregnant.

\---

PART THREE: The Odyssey Part 2: Return to Ithaca

The baby is coming soon, and they need to act fast. Joker uses his clown car to drive across America and scoop up all their little friends and wacky celebrity friends. Joker’s Trick…

Tobey Maguire’s C orpse, JarJar Binks, Dio Brando, Goku, Mr Unclean, Evil Cowboy Chris, Rootin Tootin Rollin Rick, T Hanos….all are assembled and brought together...The ritual must begin...THe pact must be sealed…

A vast pentagram is drawn in the blood of thousands of human sacricifies. Mr clean must be summoned...THe world must be made clean. Cowboy Chris begins chanting in an ancient cowboy language, and scrubs his hands until they are raw and bleeding. The ancient magicks begin to swirl and channel, and thousands are killed from the raw psychic energy. Suddenly, a blinding white light begins to form, and a naked figure appears, impossibly ripped and strong, yet clean as a marble statue. Could it be…?

Cowboy chris lets out a single tear of barbecue sauce. “Mr….Mr clean...it’s been so long…We need you to free the world….Make it clean again…

Mr clean nods sagely...He turns to his assembled warriors of Clean, and nods sagely. He rips off his white shirt and white jeans, and traces his hands along Chris. Chris shudders gently....

they fuck and after 30 hours of throbbing, hot sex...a bright white liquid emerges from mr clean’s clongin’ donger...could it be????

chris slurps it up and spits it out into a glass vial, examing it...the most beautiful liquid ever seen…

Chris gasps… he knew… in that moment… that this Clean Cum™ would be the answer to the problems of the issues of the world. Coronavirus…. Lack of fuggin because of social distancing… all solved… because of the cum….

Chris knew that he could bottle it up in a vaccine and sell it to the American public for a profit to protect them from the virus (and get that mone bay bee)….

And you, my dear reader, can purchase this vaccine for a two time payment of $49.99! Call 1800-890-92xx to place your order today for the Mr. Clean Cum vaccine! It will make you healthy. Please call.

Anyway Joker gives birth to a baby clown and now chris is a dad! Yay! What fatherly adventures will he get up to??? Tune in next time folks!!!


End file.
